Her Diary
by NeitherDeadAndAlive
Summary: LucyXNatsu Lucy died. Natsu just found her cold and unconscious in her room.. Now, she had a diary where she's written the things during the last week of her death. What exactly happened to her? Read about her last Seven days alive :( There's a Japanese version of this. Not so sure if I'm actually right with the words.. Well, hope you like it!
1. Lucy is

There's a Japanese Romaji version of this too! Titled: Kanojo no Nikki

* * *

Chapter 1: Lucy is...

November 12...

"Yosh! Tadaima! Natsu shouted as he and Happy entered the guild. By November, the weather was starting to get chilly. Christmas was also near. Natsu and Happy just went back from their three-day job, leaving Lucy at the guild.

"Mira! Where's Lucy?" Natsu smiled as he asked her.

"Soory Natsu. But Lucy hasn't been here since yesterday." She answered as she wiped the tables.

"I see.. Well, Happy! Let's go! To Lucy's house!" He raised his fist then left the guild. He was so excited about seeing Lucy. He wanted to tell her something. Something that he knows that would make Lucy happy. He walked to her house, not removing the big smile on his face.

"Lucy! It's me! Natsu! Mira told me that you weren't in the guild yesterday. And Happy and I just came back from a job." He shouted out as he called.

"Aye!" Happy jumped as he said. Natsu sighed, not getting any response then he decided just to enter through The window.

"Lu-lucy? Hey! Wake up! Lu-" he jumped in and found Lucy sleeping on her desk. Natsu walked towards her then touched her shoulders. Hos eyes narrowed of shock when he felt her skin's coldness.

"Lucy, did you sleep while the window was open? You're really cold!" He said. He was starting to worry about her.

"Lucy.. Wake up.. It's us! Lucy.. You're scary.." Happy sai. While poking her cheek. Natsu and happy looked at each other. Natsu decided to bring her to the guild to get some help.

"Come on! Get up! I didn't know you were a heavy sleeper?" He shook her while he was carrying her in his arms. Her body temperature was bothering him. She was just too cold. But he thought, it was just the weather and that his body was just hot.

"Oi, minna! I brought Lucy! She doesn't want to wake up. And she's cold too! I think she is sick." He laid her on a chair. Erza went close to her. she put the back of her hand on Lucy's shoulder. Her eyes narrowed.

"L-lucy?" Her eyes shifted to her wrist then touched it immediately. She stepped back a little. She was out of words. Tears started to fall off her face. Lucy is.. lucy is dead.. Before she could say anything, the others already got her message. Well, except for Natsu.

"So? How's Lucy? I can't wait for her to wake up! What's wrong with you guys? You're strange.." He scratched his head.

"Natsu.. Listen. Lucy is.. She's gone." Erza said.

"Gone? Lucy? How? She's right there!" He was confused.

"That's not it. Natsu.. I'm serious.. Lucy is.. Lucy is dead.."

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Okay. I swear, next chapters are going to be longer. This is more of a prologue-ish chapter. Soooo... Hope you like it!


	2. It's Time to Say Goodbye

Chapter 2: It's Time to Say Goodbye

"Lucy is... Lucy is dead." Natsu's eyes narrowed. He couldn't believe those three words. That's impossible! She was.. How could she die? In her own house? Lucy is not dead... Natsu breathed deeply and cleared his mind. He stepped back and tried to put a smile on his face.

"Wh-what are you saying Erza? That's something you shouldn't joke about! She couldn't die?" He tried to make himself believe that it's not true. But he can't.. He knew that something was wrong from the moment he touched her.

"Natsu.." Happy said.

"Shut up! Lucy is not dead!" He shook his head then ran out of the guild. He couldn't.. He just couldn't believe it. He ran into a forest then stopped nearby a lake. He caught his breath after running so fast. He fell to his knees and put his fists on the ground.

"Lucy.. That's not true right? Wake up already... You're not... Lucy.." He mumbled. Tears welled up in his eyes. He screamed and burned the trees around him. He was very mad.

"Natsu! Stop this foolishness!" He turned and saw the master. He wiped his tears away and let himself fall on the ground.

"Master.. Don't tell me.." He mumbled. Makarov walked towards him then sat beside him.

"Natsu, there is no such thing as immortal. We were all born to live... But eventually, we become weak and die. And.. Lucy did. Natsu, I know this is hard for you to take in but it's the truth. We still don't know why, but we had Polyuchka see her. She said that she was dead since yesterday.. We all love Lucy. And we too are hurt, knowing that she's gone. But," He just sighed and didn't finish his sentence. Natsu couldn't stop his tears.. Why? Of all people.. Why Lucy? Why her? Why is it that the one that has to die.. Was the one he loved the most?

"Master.. Why Lucy?" Makarov's eyes narrowed by his question.

That must be the first question that Natsu asked him and he couldn't find the words to the right answer. Of all people, why Lucy? She was a sweet, energetic and young girl who loved her friends so much. Thinking of an innocent girl die so sudden, it hurt the master. One of those he considered as a child of his... Tears slowly came out his eyes. He wiped them immediately then stood up.

"Natsu, let's go back." He said. Natsu clenched his fists then sat up.

"I'll follow.." He was looking down as he mumbled. Makarov nodded then turned away.

* * *

Four days after her death, the mages decided to have her burial. Four days without Lucy, Four days of Natsu's gloomy and cold behavior. He wasn't seen too much in the guild for the past few days. He just stayed where Lucy was lying. The mages would sometimes hear his cries from outside the room, feeling bad about Natsu. He and Lucy had just gone out for a month. And now this happens? He was very unfortunate. He regretted everything he did. Starting from going on that three-day job, fighting Gray instead of spending his time with Lucy, everything. He blamed himself for everything.

"Natsu.. Let's go home.. Lucy will be buried tomorrow. You should prepare.." Happy tugged his vest. Natsu smiled faintly at him, making Happy's eyes go teary. His expression looked so painful. Even though he put on a smile, it can't be hidden. He was too hurt.

"Natsu.." Happy was about to cry. He patted Happy's head and looked at him. He tried his best to keep himself from crying so Natsu wouldn't feel very bad. He had to be strong. For Natsu..

"Happy, you're right. Let's go home.. And tomorrow.. We'll say our goodbyes to Lucy..." That was it. Happy couldn't hold back his tears. What Natsu said was very sad. He couldn't even imagine how much it hurts Natsu..

"Gomen Natsu! I-I didn't want to cry in front of you so I won't make you feel bad!" Happy said.

"It's okay. I cry a lot too, right? It's fine.." He smiled at Happy. He put him on his shoulder then went out. This time, he was the one who pushed himself to be strong. He has to be. He couldn't be the one who'll be treated specially, and that the others would try to keep their feelings just because of him. He wouldn't want to be that person who'll make the people around him adjust for his sake.

"Erza.. I'm really worried about Natsu.." Makarov said.

"Me too.. He's been there all the time.. I hope he returns to his old self soon.." She said.

"I do too.. Well, we have to go. We still have to prepare for tomorrow." The master sighed then went back to his office.

The next day, everyone gathered in the guild wearing all black. Just half an hour left before Lucy's burial. That day, it was rainy. Is it Juvia? Or it was just a coincidence? Either way, the weather was gloomy too. Most of them prepared handkerchiefs to wipe their tears. It was nearly the time but Natsu and Happy are still not there.

"Where are you Natsu.. Are you even planning to come?." Erza mumbled. Just minutes before the time, He arrived. He was walking slowly, with his head down. Everyone looked at him with awe. They couldn't stand seeing him that way. It wasn't Natsu. He was never the ones who become so sad like that..

"Okay, Now everyone is here, Let's go." Master instructed. They walked together to the cemetery, following Lucy's coffin.

Finally, they arrived. They grabbed their own seats. On the first row were the ones closest to her. Natsu, Happy, Master, Erza, Gray and Levy. Master sighed then walked up front. Natsu was just looking down the whole time. The other mages tried their best to act like they don't feel sorry for him. Lucy's coffin was white. There was a big picture of her, standing at the side of it and had flowers around the frame. Her celestial keys were on top of her coffin. Master went to the other side of her coffin and started talking.

"Today, one of our nakama will part with us. She will now move to another stage in her life that we will soon be in too. Death is not avoidable. It is not impossible too. Us humans are fragile. Our lives can be taken anytime, anywhere. We were all born to live but we will soon meet our end. There is no such thing as immortal.. Death can be meet by anyone.. Even if they did nothing but goodness.. One of my children... Means you guys, asked me.. Why her? I didn't know. It was the first time I felt so clueless.. Of all the people, why Lucy? She was just a girl who loved her friends so much. But why was her precious life taken away from us? This only tells us that we must value every moment of our lives with out loved ones. We never know when they part from our lives.." The master's speech made the mages cry. It wasn't unavoidable. They all loved Lucy. And she loved all of them too.

"I'd like to give my message to her. She has been a very good person. There came a time when we risked everything to protect her. Because of that, our bonds became stronger. She was a new member in our guild. And she soon grew to love her nakama with all her heart. As the master, I will always remember her feelings for all of us. I will never forget the goodness in her heart. And now, that she's gone in our lives... Wherever she may be, I hope she finds happiness and that she would never forget that she has nakama that will always love her no matter what.." He wiped his tears off his eyes then went back to his seat. Next one was Erza. She breathed deeply, clearing her voice then went in front.

"Lucy.. She was always the one who didn't want others to worry about her. She was a true friend. We all know that she doesn't consider herself strong, but she is. What makes her strong is her feelings. Lucy was always there for us and she tried her best to help us in anyway she can. As her team mate, I will always think of her and remember everything she has done. She is a very good person.. And I hope she continues to be with us even we can't see her anymore." She smiled faintly then went back to her place. Now, what everyone has waited for.. Natsu. He slowly got up then walked in front.

"Lucy, I love her.. It's too late to tell her that now. I never got the chance to tell her that.. Although I hear those words from her a few times, I know she hasn't.. And I regret not telling her that.. I saw her in her house.. She was sleeping on her desk. At first, I thought she was just sleeping, but I was too stupid to tell that she was... Already gone.. I didn't want to believe it. It was too painful for me.. But I realized, no one could live forever.. Nothing lasts forever.. But I know, deep in my heart, that I will love her forever.. Until the day I die. I'm sorry for being too weak to handle the pain. That you guys needed to be strong for me.. I don't know why.. Why did she leave me? I wanted to spend more time with her.. If I could, I want to spend forever with her.. But no... Before My eyes.. I saw her dead... And I pushed myself to believe that it wasn't true.. Last night, I thought about this day.. I thought about not going, or other wise.. I told Happy.. It was already the time to say goodbye.. I pushed myself to be strong.. Now I am here, in front of all of you.. Doing my best to keep the pain that my heart is feeling.. It was too early for her to leave.. I will find out.. I will know what happened.. I want to know why she died.. Lucy.. You guys.. If you're saying, 'wherever' she is... She is in my heart.. And she will always be. Forever.. And I wish that I will be in her's too.. Lucy, I love you.. And it's time to say goodbye to you.." He shouted then cried out loud after his message. The mages cried louder too. He went back to his seat then Happy hugged him immediately.

"Natsu... Lucy is.. Lucy is gone!" Happy cried out.

They let theirselves calm down for a little while then continued with the burial..Everyone Stood up, surrounding her coffin and watched it while it was lowered. They were throwing in white roses as they cried. But as it lowered, Streaks of light shone upwards, coming from her coffin. Natsu looked up immediately. Her spirits started to appear, one by one. From Plue.. To Loke.. Everyone. They had smiles on their faces.

"Lucy.. As the leader of the 12 celestial spirits, I shall tell our message to you.. Lucy, out owner. No, our friend. Personally, I thank you for saving me.. From all your spirits, I want to say that we all thank you for being such a good owner to us. Your love for us pushed us to become stronger and fight with you. Today, you get buried.. And we will now part ways to find our new owners that will love us the same way as you Do. We thank you with all our heart. You are the best celestial mage for us.. Good bye Lucy." Loke said. After a few seconds, the spirits started to fade, and lights spread out towards different directions. It must be the spirits that parted ways and was finding a new owner. The coffin continued to lower.

"As a member of fairy tail! We will always remember you and we will always let you stay in our hearts! No matter where you are, we are always there for you!" Master shouted out then raised his hand, making the fairy tail sign. one by one, the mages raised their hands with tears falling non stop. And as she was finally done... Natsu slowly raised his arm and made the fairy tail sign.

"Goodbye... Lucy.."

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SERIOUSLY, I WAS CRYING MY HEART OUT WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS. DID YOU CRY TOO? Well, it's okay if you didn't. I admit, I'm a cry baby. I cry so easily when I watch or even read sad stories! :(( Hope you like it! I didn't expect this story to have reviews right away! I actually thought it was just gonna have about 10 views or something. Thanks for favorites and follows! And the reviews too! Please continue to review! It makes me motivated to write! Still crying :((


	3. Her Diary

Chapter 3: Her Diary

After her burial, everybody went back to the guild. Everyone remained silent. No one wanted to talk or even make a sound. Natsu was just sitting there with Happy, crossing his arms and his head down.

"Happy.." Everyone turned, hearing the first sound they heard since they came back.

"Let's go to Lucy's.. We might find something that tells about her death.." He mumbled. happy just nodded then flew alongside with him. Before he could get out of the guild, someone held his shoulder. It was erza.

"Natsu. I wanna go with you." She said. Natsu just nodded.

"Natsu, me too.." Gray said then came along with them. They headed to Lucy's house in silence. they didn't say a word to each other. they continued walking. when they reached her house they entered through the window. Natsu stopped, seeing the desk where he saw Lucy. He raised his hand to point out slowly.

"That's..." Natsu said. Erza put her hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. But Natsu noticed something. He walked towards the desk immediately.

"Look," he held the notebook in his hands then looked at the Gray and Erza. They looked at each other then went close to him.

"November 11.. Hm? A diary?" Erza read.

"That's the day she died right? That's what polyuchka said.." Gray said.

"Yeah.. It's.. It's the last page where there's writings.." Natsu checked the page after it. He nodded then looked at the notebook to read.

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November 11,

Dear Diary,

Today is a cool day! I wonder how cold ot's gonna be during the month of December? I'm getting excited for christmas! Though it's still a month away.. I'm just too excited for the gifts! Well, it's afternoon but I just woke up.

I don't know why but I feel so tired these past few days. Natsu left for a job yesterday with Happy. He told me that I should stay here and wait for him to come back. It was something about.. hmm.. what was that? Never mind.. But it must be something related to monsters or stuff like that.

Well, I'm sure he'll come back soon. He can handle himself. He's very strong. Natsu and I have been dating *scribble for a month Now.. I always rell him the words 'I love you' but.. I haven't heard it from him.. Well, I'll remind him when he comes back!

I'm.. I don't feel so well.. I feel so weak right now.. But maybe I just need more *scribble rest. I'm sorry to my diary! I messed the page! Oh well.. I'm still thinking about that bite.. It's so s*scribble trange.. I was bitten by a large snake on my last mission with Natsu and the others, but there was no damage done.. There was no blood, no bite mark.. It's really strange. It's impossible if it *scribble missed. I felt it pierce my arm.. But..

I'm.. Feeling so weak now.. I've done to many scribbles on the paper.. What is happe*large scribbles

* * *

The three mages' eyes narrowed. She.. She just died like that? While.. While writing her diary.. What happened?! Natsu stood up immediately, pushing back the chair. He flipped through the pages after that, trying to find more. That was the moment she died..

"That was it?" Natsu said.

"Looks like it.. I'm sorry, Natsu." Gray said.

"She said.. She said something about getting bitten right? the day we got home from the mission. That was a week before the 11th right?" Erza said.

"Yeah.. Wait, I just want to go through her diary A bit.." He mumbled, going back through the pages.

* * *

October 4,

Dear Diary,

Oh, when will Natsu notice me? We've been so close to each other.. And.. And I already like him.. But, I feel like he won't notice my feelings. Well, He's Natsu, alright. I don't think he'll ever realize his feelings for a girl. But there's Lisanna.. But he doesn't really get it, doesn't he? Does he even understand the meaning of married?

That's so funny. But makes me feel a little jealous. I'm thinking of.. I'm thinking of confessing to him. Should I. Or not? Because.. If he rejects me, It will be so awkward.. But if he likes me too, that's good right? Oh.. It's so hard to decide!

* * *

Natsu smiled as he read her diary. it makes him realize how things happened without him knowing. He didn't finish reading it. he flipped to another page, wanting to know how she felt when they started going out.

October 7,

Dear Diary,

Yosh! I confessed to him! I'm so glad! I thought he would be like 'of course I like you! We're partners right?' Phew. Glad it didn't go that way.. Since I can't forget this day, I'll write it here like it's a story! In first person point of view!

This is it.. The day I've been waiting for.. I finally got the courage to tell him how I feel. Of course I prepared myself for the worst case scenario. You know, when he just thinks of me of a friend. I walked down town. then I saw him from a distance! I smiled and called out to him as I ran. But, I was so stupid. I was too excited that I tripped on a small rock! So I had to get help from Natsu. I scraped my knee so we just sat down by the water, with you legs hanging off the stone path.

"Next time, watch your step Lucy!" He scratched his head and smiled at me.

"Aye!" Happy added. I sighed deeply then put the words in my mind.

"Natsu.." I mumbled, clenching my fist tight. Okay.. I'm gonna say it.

"I.. I have something to tell you." I said.

"Eh? Oh! Me too! You go ahead." He told me. Well, if he insists..

"I.. I like you, Natsu." I closed my eyes tight, waiting for his answer. I waited for a few seconds but he was just quiet. I slowly opened my eyes then looked at him. He was just staring at me. And.. He was.. Blushing!? His cheeks had a shade of pink.

"Lucy.. I Was.. Going to tell you that too. I like you Lucy! Not only as a friend!" He smiled. My eyes widened as he said it.. I was surprised. I never thought that he would say- My heart stopped. He.. Natsu kissed my cheek! That was totally unexpected! I was just looking at him as he smiled at me. I never thought he would do something like that.

"S-sorry! I just.." He thought I was mad or something

"It's fine! Um.. Thanks Natsu. I didn't expect this to happen." I smiled.

"Well, Lucy.. Since I know you like me, and I like you.. Will you.. Go out with me?" I gasped then covered my mouth immediately. He's.. He's asking me out!? Th-this is... Way too much than I asked for! But.. I'd love to! Natsu... Asked me out!

"I-I'd love to!" Without thinking, my body just moved towards him and hugged him. When I realized what I've done, I was about to let go. But he hugged me back. I felt mich more relieved. Everything was just so.. Unexpected.. I never thought about actually going out with him, but here I am.. I'm so happy..

* * *

Natsu closed the diary then smiled. He thought of that moment. He looked at the diary he was holding, thinking about Lucy.

"Natsu?" Erza said.

"Y-yeah?" He shook his head then turned to her.

"Let's look at the day of our mission.. Can we? So, we'll know what exactly happened to her.." She said.

"R-right!" he started finding the page.

"I suggest, we start from there until November 11.." Gray said. They sat on Lucy's bed then waited for Natsu to find the page.

"Her last week alive eh...?" Natsu stopped turning the pages and smiled faintly.


	4. November 5

_Okay! So I've prepared something for this story! Starting from this chapter, everything I write will be intended! If you ever find anything wrong, It's totally part of the story. So, Enjoooy! Please do review please!_

_P. S. Chapters will be shorter because it'll only contain one day from her diary!_

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Chapter 4: November 5

Dear Diary,

This morning, Erza, Gray, Natsu and I went on a job on a forest far from Magnolia. It was to save a village from a poisonous snake. Although, something strange happened. While we were on the job, the giant snake attacked me. I didn't know why, but by the moment We saw that snake, I felt like it was focusing on me..

Strange right? When we started to fight it, It was only moving towards me. I'm not so sure about it, but I really felt that way. Then while we were fighting.. The snake bit me. Now, at that very moment it bit my arm, I actually thought I was going to die.

I felt its fangs pierce through my arm. It was burning my arm. I screamed as, loud as I can, feeling the intense pain on my arm. I fainted the moment It's teeth got out of my arm.. When I woke up, I hurried to see my left arm, where it bit me. But.. Nothing happened.

It was clear. Then I started to think.. Maybe, it was all just a dream.. my a arm still feels a little drained, but I can manage to move it. Wendy told me that I shouldn't move it too much so it would get better quickly. She left for a job so she won't be able to take care of me. So I'm gonna try my best to get better! I'd like to go on a job with me just me and Natsu as soon as I get well!

Goodnight!


	5. November 6

Chapter 5: November 6

Dear Diary,

Right now, I'm in the guild while I'm writing in my diary. Natsu wouldn't know that I'm writing on my diary.. Because he's too busy picking up fights with Gray. Levy's out on a job too. Mira's too busy, Erza's keeping the two guys from fighting.. *sighed Okay, that was just to express my feelings.

Second day since I got bitten by the snake that left no trace of it. It feels much better know. I can move it a bit. But I still have to let it rest till I fully recover! While my arm feels better, my insides tell me the opposite..

I feel so sluggish and weak that I can't even stand to walk for a minute.. Maybe the arm just affects it. I don't know. My body's feeling so weird. So now i'm just sitting by the bar, writing here on my diary. I'm just glad my right hand has the energy to write. If it didn't, I'm doomed. Since I can't move a lot, There's nothing much I can do.. I just wish I could spend more time with Natsu..

I've been thinking about it.. and.. I realized, Natsu never told me that.. He loves me.. I was always the one who tells him those words, but.. If I do, I never get to hear an 'I love you too'. I feel really sad about it.. When I tell him that I love him, he just smiles at me. Just now, I asked Mira for a milkshake so now I'm enjoying myself!

But.. I don't really know how to go home if my legs are this weak.. Maybe I'll just call Natsu when I need to go home. I just hope he notices me.. These past few days, I haven't really spent my time with him. He was always fighting or eating or on a job.. It bothers me..

I stayed in the guild for a couple more hours then I decided to go home. I called Natsu, and thank God he noticed me. I sighed as he went close to me. Right now, I'm alone in my house, writing. Again.. I asked Natsu to take me home because I feel weak, then he carried me on his back. I rested my chin on his shoulders and smiled. Then I told him about what I feel about him. That he wasn't spending time with me.. But he just apologized and smiled.

For me, it wasn't enough. I wanted him to do something, but he didn't. He simply brought me home then left immediately. I wish that we could talk for a while.. Well, I have to sleep.

Good night!


	6. November 7

Chapter 6: November 7

This morning, I decided to go to the guild. My arm is already fine! I can move it now. But while I was walking, I fell down. I realized that I have to take a rest while walking. I get so tired easily nowadays. Every time I walk, I have to stop and sit down for a few minutes before I can walk again. If I don't I'll just fall down.. I walked and sat down until I reached the guild.

When I reached the guild, I immediately sat down near where Natsu was. I waved my hand and called out to him. I waited for a few minutes until He turned to me and sat beside me. Since my arm is better, I wanted to go to a job with him. I asked him if he wants to go on a job with me since I'm feeling better, but he didn't. He told me that I still have to rest. And that if I go on a job, I'll just make it worse.. He left his seat then fought Gray again. Just when will he stop fighting him?

It annoyed me.. I rolled my eyes then I sat by the bar to drink milkshake. But as I made my way there, I suddenly fell. My legs were shaky and the way it feels, it's like I never ate that day. I know I did so I think something was wrong. I stayed sitting on the ground. I just looked down, feeling mad at Natsu.

He should have caught me. He should help me.. But he didn't.. He just let me fall like that. And when I did, it was as if he didn't see anything. Mira went to get me then helped me to the chair. I asked for a milkshake then she gave me one. I hate Natsu.. He doesn't care about me..

I'm starting to think that.. He's... Never mind.. It's just that he is not spending much time with me like before.. Is there something wrong with me? Does he still.. Likes me? I shouldn't think about these things..

But even though I'm saying this right now, I know this would be gone by tomorrow. If I get mad at him, it always fades away so easily. I just can't stay mad at him.. I'll just sleep this off and I'll be fine tomorrow.

Goodnight!

_Sa ti slaeh, ehs snekaew.._


	7. November 8

Chapter 7: November 8

Dear Diary,

Today was just a plain normal day. I decided to stay home. I slept all day and sat down. I didn't do much tiring stuff today. I also thought that even if I went to the guild, I have no reason to be there.. I want to go because of Natsu, but since he doesn't notice me these days.. I'm not in the mood to be there and feel sad again.

Well, I told you that my anger would be gone by now, right? Well, it is. Just now I realized, being at home all day is boring.. I regret staying anyway.. But tomorrow, I'll definitely go to the guild! I'll try asking Natsu again to go on a job! Sorry if I kept going on about my body and how Natsu ignores me.. It's just.. It's all I think about.

Nothing comes in my mind but questions about those things. Anyway, this afternoon, strange things happened to me.. I went to the kitchen to get some water. When I reached out to grab a glass, The glass just slipped out of my hand.. I didn't really understand what happened at that moment, but when I stepped away from the counter, the glass just dropped and shattered on the floor. Even though I really felt that I was gripping tight on the glass.

Was it my strength? Is it that I'm getting weaker and weaker? So the glass broke to pieces. Little shards landed on my feet so it hurt a little. I sat down to clean and put band aids on the small wounds, but then I noticed that there was not much blood coming from the wounds.. But then I thought, It was just normal because the cuts were small.

And another thing, I was cutting some vegetables while I was sitting down. Because I'd fall if I stayed standing. Then suddenly, I cut my palm. I was holding the lettuce in my hands then tried to cut it into two. But I put too much force in it that I cut all the way, reaching my palm. So my left hand has a huge cut across my palm.. But this is what bothers me.. The last time I got wounds, they didn't bleed much because they were small. But this time, it still didn't bleed..

It's impossible right? with that huge cut, I should've bled badly.. But I didn't.. I shook my head then breathed deeply. I can feel the pain but when I look at my hand, it was just like a mannequin's hand. Pale and has no blood in it. I tried to get it off my mind and just put a bandage around it. So here I am, resting my left hand while writing in this diary.

I hope that Natsu'll say yes to go on a job with me! Good luck to me!

Goodnight!

_Ylwols gnidaf litnu gninrom reven semoc. _

_Gniniard dna gnikcus reh efil morf eht edisne.. _


	8. November 9

Chapter 8: November 9

Dear Diary,

This morning, I went to the guild. I told myself that I'll ask Natsu to go with me on a job. But when I asked him, he said no again.. He told me that I had to rest my hand.. Ugh. I hate it. So I sat by the bar and drank milkshake. Gladly, Levy was back from her job. She sat beside me and talked to me.

She asked me about my health. well, I said that my arm was completely fine. my palm was cut but it feels better now. But my body gets weaker and weaker.. I eat well, I sleep on time.. Where did I go wrong? Aside frim that, she asked my relationship with Natsu. I felt relieved. I wanted to alk about my feelings to someone. I'm happy that I get to talk to Levy about it.

I told her everything. That Natsu was becoming distant to me.. That he didn't spend much time with me and didn't care much about me either.. I'm not expecting any advice from her though.. She doesn't have experience on things like this anyway. But Mira told me that I should talk to him seriously about this. I think I'll do it tomorrow. Somehow, I felt better inside because I told all my feelings.

I don't want to end up hating Natsu or breaking up with him, so I avoid thinking about negative stuff about him. I'm happy that I have very nic friends in the guild. They were always there for me. I remembered the time when they risked everything to save me from my dad. I felt bad making them go through hard experiences but I felt a lot better afterwards. i realized how much they care for me. How much they love Me.

I hope.. Someday.. I hope Natsu would tell me he loves me..

Goodnight!

_Ti si gniraen.. Reh.._


	9. November 10

Chapter 9: November 10

Dear Diary,

I decided to go and talk to Natsu about he behaved these past few days. So I went to the guild then arrived, seeing Natsu sitting somewhere with Happy. I waved at him then sat beside him. I'm still happy that he notices me somehow. That way, I don't feel that much invisible.

When I sat down, he told me that he was going to tell me something. I sighed, thinking that he should've just told me, instead of warning me about it. It's funny to think of! But I said that I wanted to talk to him. I told him that I wanted to talk about our relationship seriously. But.. He raised an eyebrow then stood up. He smiled innocently then told me that there's nothing wrong about us. I grunted then rolled my eyes.

But he didn't seem to notice that I was pissed that time. He sat again then put his arm around me, calming my self down. He told me that he'll go on a job. I grunted again then ignored him.

Then he said, "Lucy, I'll be back in a few days. Sorry, I'll have to leave you, but I just want you safe. Wait for me, okay?" I looked at him with a smile and waved at him as he left the guild. Somehow, his words made me feel happy.

I understood him in a way. That he wants me to be safe. That's why he didn't want to go on a job with me. I hope he'll come back soon.. When he does, I'll tell him that I love him. That I'm sorry about my weird behavior sometimes.. But of course I'll tell him how a jerk he was these past few days!

After a few hours after he left, I decided to go home. I have no reason to stay anyway.. And I feel so tired. My body is weaker than before. Like all my energy is drained. My magic, my strength.. Everything. I slowly walked home alone. I didn't have enough magic power to call Plue, so I'm really alone. I really don't understand what's happening to me..

As soon as I reached home, I let myself fall on the bed. And now, I'm writing on this Diary, telling how my day went. To sum it up, I'd say this day was... hmm.. Relieving? Well, I guess that would work. Yeah. This day is relieving. I'm relieved that Natsu cares about me all along. And I want him to come back as soon as possible.

Now I'll just sleep! My body feels so tired. Bye!

_Eht kcolc si gnikcit.. Reh efil... si ylwols gnidaf._


	10. A New Page?

Chapter : New Page?

"That's it right? She's gone.. Just like that." Natsu mumbled.

After reading all the pages of her last week alive, the Diary suddenly emitted light. Blue light. Erza, Natsu and Gray's eyes widened, reflecting the light on their eyes. They opened the Diary once more and checked to see what happened.

"Wha!? A-A new page?" Erza said.

"How could that... Anyway, let's read it." Gray said. They all breathed deeply and started to read it.

* * *

You have read this diary, yet you have not found what you seek for. But because of reading this, I shall show you the answer. . .

"Look back to your last days..

Read it once more...

Read but say not what you don't know,

But I tell you, read it back..."

* * *

For a second, the words were there, but suddenly, a light emitted again then the words were gone. The three mages looked at each other then stayed silent. Erza looked for a pen and paper then wrote down what she remembered.

"Look back to your last days.. Does it mean we should read it again?" Erza said.

"Maybe.. It says Read it once more." Natsu said.

"But, what about read not what you don't know?" Gray asked.

"Hmm.. Read but say not what you don't know.. Let's get some help with this. We don't know what might happen if we don't follow.. Gray, call Levy. We'll wait here." Erza said. He nodded then headed out immediately.

"Natsu.." She called.

"Yeah?"

"You're such a jerk." She said, punching his shoulder lightly.

"Why?" Natsu scratched his head.

"why didn't you tell her those words?" Natsu's face turned sad again.

"I don't know.. I feel.. It feels like I'm not yet ready to tell her. But now I am, but it's too late.." He mumbled.

"And why didn't you go and help her when she fell down?" She continued.

"I didn't see her That time.."

"Baka... Know what? I never knew that you had that dark side in you.. You were very.. Very much like the whole opposite of you." She smiled faintly.

"I didn't know too.. But I felt that way.. Like I just wanted to scream until I can't.. It's just too painful.."

"Did you think about what you did? you ignored her too much, Natsu.." erza added. Natsu just sighed and didn't have anything to say about it. he regretted it so much.. Silence fell. After a few minutes, Gray returned with Levy.

"Levy, we need your help. Please read this. Tell us what you understand." Erza handed out the diary to her.

"Lu-chan's.. Diary?" She took out the paper where erza wrote the phrases. after reading it for a few times, she turned to them.

"Have you read the diary?" She asked.

"Yeah. We read it starting from the time she got bitten in out mission. It was a week before her death. After, that message appeared." Natsu said. Levy sighed then explained what she knows.

"Hmm.. While reading, were you saying them out loud?"

"Well, yes.." Erza answered.

"If I'm right, I think it wants you to read her whole week's diary again. By the phrase 'read but say not what you don't know,', I think it says that if you come across a word, or anything that you don't understand, don't read it aloud. Seems like there's a spell or curse in there. Like what happened when you guys exchanged bodies after Natsu read words out loud. Lastly, read it back.. i'm not sure about this but maybe it means backwards. It can be the dates, or the words themselves.. Well, Do you understand?" She explained.

"So.. Does it mean something changed in the diary?" Gray asked. Levy's eyes widened.

"What do you mean by change?" She was confused.

"Well, when we read her diary, there was nothing wrong with it.. Aside from the scribbles, I guess.." He continued.

"No, I think there were random letters below.." Erza added.

"Hmm.. If that's the case, Let's see.." Levy nodded then opened the diary. They sat down together then started reading.

* * *

*Please do go back to the Chapter of November 7 and do things according to what you understand here :)


	11. Goodbye

Chapter 10: Goodbye..

Dear Diary,

Today is a cool day! I wonder how cold it's gonna be during the month of December? I'm getting excited for christmas! Though it's still a month away.. I'm just too excited for the gifts! Well, it's afternoon but I just woke up.

I don't know why but I feel so tired these past few days. Natsu left for a job yesterday with Happy. He told me that I should stay here and wait for him to come back. It was something about.. hmm.. what was that? Never mind.. But it must be something related to monsters or stuff like that.

Well, I'm sure he'll come back soon. He can handle himself. He's very strong. Natsu and I have been dating *scribble for a month Now.. I always rell him the words 'I love you' but.. I haven't heard it from him.. Well, I'll remind him when he comes back!

I'm.. I don't feel so well.. I feel so weak right now.. But maybe I just need more *scribble rest. I'm sorry to my diary! I messed the page! Oh well.. I'm still thinking about that bite.. It's so s*scribble trange.. I was bitten by a large snake on my last mission with Natsu and the others, but there was no damage done.. There was no blood, no bite mark.. It's really strange. It's impossible if it *scribble missed. I felt it pierce my arm.. But..

I'm.. Feeling so weak now.. I've done to many scribbles on the paper.. What is happe*large scribbles

* * *

"Did you understand?" Levy nodded then asked them.

"Not really.." Gray scratched his head. Levy sighed then grabbed a piece of paper.

"Look.." She started to turn the pages again then wrote phrases on every page she turns.

"_Sa ti slaeh, ehs snekaew.."_

_"Ylwols gnidaf litnu gninrom reven semoc. Gniniard__ dna gnikcus reh efil morf eht edisne.."_

_"__Ti si gniraen.. Reh.."_

___"__Eht kcolc si gnikcit.. Reh efil... si ylwols gnidaf."_

___"_If you read each word backwards.. As it heals, she weakens.. Slowly fading until morning never comes. Draining and sucking her life from the inside.. It is nearing.. Her.. The clock is ticking.. Her life.. Is slowly fading." She wrote. The other three mages gasped.

"S-so.. Does it mean.. That bite, it was the whole reason of her death!?" Erza asked.

"Yes.. I think, because it had no effect on the outside, it's because the damage goes from the inside.. And it drained all her power ever since she was bitten.. Causing her death.." Levy mumbled. Seconds later, the diary emitted light again. They immediately turned the pages and see what has changed.

"Another page?" Gray said.

"No. It seems like it replaced the new page before.." Erza said.

* * *

And because you have uncovered the reason of Lucy's death.. I shall reward you..

My rewards is only temporary. It would be gone after half an hour. Treasure it, and make sure you regret nothing by then..

* * *

They looked at each other, having no clue on what was happening. Then the whole place was covered with white. They woke up, finding theirselves lying in a pure white place. The slowly stood up.

"What happened?" Gray scratched his head.

"Where are-" Natsu's eyes narrowed and was filled with tears when he turned.

"L-lucy.. Lucy!" He saw lucy, standing a few meters away from him. He ran immediately and hugged her tight. Was this the reward? If it really is.. They have to hurry.. Natsu has to hurry.

"Lucy! We'll miss you!" They all went to hug her. After a few seconds, they stepped back and let Natsu talk to her.

"Minna.. I'll miss all of you too.. Natsu.. I want to tell you that I will always l-" She was crying while saying her last words to everyone, until Natsu stopped her sentence with a kiss. Her eyes widened. Natsu cupped her face with both of his hands, kissing her soft lips for the first and last time.. He kissed her and felt her sweet taste on his mouth, having tears fall from their eyes. They wanted to make that moment last.. Because they would never see each other again.. Levy was crying as she watched them, making the most out of their last meeting.. Soon, they broke the kiss and smiled at each other.

"Lucy, I'm sorry.. I really am.. I didn't mean to ignore you.. I'm sorry I didn't spend much time with you.. And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you how much I love you.. I.. I came back To tell you. But when I did, you were gone.. Lucy, I love you.. I love you so much and I'll miss you! Now that you're gone.. I'll-"

"Natsu, thank you. Thank you for telling me that.. I know I'll leave you in just a few more minutes.. And.. I want to tell everyone that I'll miss them so much.. Tell them that I will always be by their side.. Natsu..I love you too.." She hugged him tight, crying louder. Natsu put his hand on her waist and on her hair, feeling her hug for the very last time..

"I love you, Lucy.. I don't want to lose you.." He said while hugging her.

"Bye, Lucy." Erza smiled with tears in her eyes then she faded away.

"Bye.. Lucy.." Gray faded too.

"Lu-chan! I'll miss you too! Lu-chan.. Good bye.." Levy cried out then faded..

"I love you lucy!" Natsu hugged her tighter, not wanting to leave. The time was already out.. He'll soon fade and go back to the world where Lucy was gone.

"I love you too.." Lucy answered, also crying.

"I don't want to leave you! I want to be with you! I want to spend my life with you! Lucy, I love you!" Natsu said.

"You can't.. But I'm very happy that you're telling me this.. Natsu, don't let yourself get stuck with me.. I want you to love someone else when you're ready.. But I will always love you.. Good bye Natsu. It's time for you to leave.." Lucy told him, kissing his cheek.

"Lucy! I don't want to leave you! lucy! I love y-" Lucy cried out loud, watching him fade away. She fell to her knees and cried as hard as she can. She can't stop crying.. It was hard to say goodbyes. It always was..

"Good bye.. Natsu.."


	12. Start Over

Yo! How was the last part of the previous chapter? I admit, I CRIED AGAIN. :(( So this is the end.. This is the last chapter.. Aw.. So Sad. But, Please do read my other stories! If you like, you can suggest new pairings and stories that I could make. I really want to make a new one but I don't know which anime I should write about.. I'm thinking of OCXAnime character.. Please do suggest a good fan fiction for me to write! I'd really appreciate that.

Just a short final chapter!

* * *

Chapter 12: Start Over

"Lucy!" I sat right up, shouting out her name.. I looked around and realized.. I'm at my house? That's weird.. The last thing I remember I was-

Oh.. Right.. I saw Lucy for the last time.. I'm really sad right now.. Lucy's gone.. I don't know what to think.. But I'm glad I get to tell her that I love her.. And kiss her.. For the first and last time.. I shook my head, not wanting to remember it again. I don't want to cry again. Makes me look weird..

"Natsu.." I turned and saw Happy. Where has he been?

"Oh, Happy. Where did you go yesterday?" I asked, patting his head.

"I went back to the guild.." Happy answered.

"I see.. Well, you should've been with us. We met L- never mind. Let's go to the guild!" I shook my head then stood up.

"Aye.." He said, following me.

"I wonder what Lu- I mean, What are we gonna do?" Shit. I can't stop mentioning Lucy.. I have to stop this.. She told me that I should move on.. I can't let myself get hurt forever.. I feel happy that she wants me to be happy without her.. Although.. So, we reached the guild and sat down for a while.

"Hey, Natsu. How are you?" Erza approached me.

"I'm.. Okay. I'm trying to move on.. Like what she told me.. But I find it so hard to stop mentioning things about her every now and then!" I said.

"That's okay, that won't be too easy. It could take weeks, months or even years to move on. Well, we have to anyway." She hit my back then walked away.

She's right.. We all have to move on.. But that doesn't mean we have to forget her. We just have to stop feeling bad for her loss, and continue being happy. I hope I could move on.. As soon as possible. Will I ever find someone else? I don't think it would be that easy.. I will never forget how much I enjoyed being with Lucy.. Her house, her attitude, her face, her hair, her spirits.. I can't move on easily..

But all I know is.. I have to move forward.. I have to.. I.. I need to Start Over..


End file.
